Salam geng,
I was editing my Blogger profile. Changing to "22 | UPM | MALAYSIA". Looking at the 22 make me remember Taylor Swift and then realised again that I am going 22 this 17 April. It's 2020 already. It's the year that everyone waiting (?). And so many things had happened to the world starting from the January till this April and it is continuously continuing.
I was editing my Blogger profile. Changing to "22 | UPM | MALAYSIA". Looking at the 22 make me remember Taylor Swift and then realised again that I am going 22 this 17 April. It's 2020 already. It's the year that everyone waiting (?). And so many things had happened to the world starting from the January till this April and it is continuously continuing.
I am thinking about this 22 years of my life. So here's the things that popping out (Lama tak writing macam ni so I doubted whether I should share or not, but there are 9 things here and I have bold the main points kalau nak skip skip).
1) The first thing popping out is yet so lame. Jodoh. Seeing the people around me searching partners, having partners, changing partners, getting married, and so on while I am still me, not having any, since then.
Orang kata kalau dah third year study still takde partner nanti sampai ke sudah susah cari partner HAHA siapa buat teori ni dah buat kajian ke belum hah.
So haritu I asked Matuss, "Sebab aku senang kawan dengan lelaki ke sebab aku takde boyfriend?". Matuss kata "bukan ke sebab kau belum jumpa lagi". Ok then I put my trust on that sentence and I am okay with it till now.
Orang kata kalau dah third year study still takde partner nanti sampai ke sudah susah cari partner HAHA siapa buat teori ni dah buat kajian ke belum hah.
So haritu I asked Matuss, "Sebab aku senang kawan dengan lelaki ke sebab aku takde boyfriend?". Matuss kata "bukan ke sebab kau belum jumpa lagi". Ok then I put my trust on that sentence and I am okay with it till now.
2) Ok second thing popping out is attitude. My attitude. I realised that I am changing that part a lot compared to when I was 'teen'. Trying to be better (?) more polite (?) softer (?). Ok softer tu tak sangat sebab still tumbuk and pukul orang. Tapi still dulu lagi kasar teruk do adoi Amira. Ok geng softer tu diterima (lepas flash back kekasaran dulu).
Then, maybe trying to be more matured. Fikir dulu sebelum cakap. Fikir dulu sebelum buat. Fikir dulu sebelum react to a situation. Dah kurang melatah (bukan melatah yang opocot tu you know right).
Oh and paling penting sekali, more penyabar. Especially after I met people who successfully make me bersabar ke tahap yang aku tak sangka aku boleh sabar sangat sampai ke tahap tu HAHA. However, there are many more parts need to be repair and adjust for the attitude. Sigh. There's always another better after a better I guess.
Then, maybe trying to be more matured. Fikir dulu sebelum cakap. Fikir dulu sebelum buat. Fikir dulu sebelum react to a situation. Dah kurang melatah (bukan melatah yang opocot tu you know right).
Oh and paling penting sekali, more penyabar. Especially after I met people who successfully make me bersabar ke tahap yang aku tak sangka aku boleh sabar sangat sampai ke tahap tu HAHA. However, there are many more parts need to be repair and adjust for the attitude. Sigh. There's always another better after a better I guess.
3) The third thing is crucial, faith. Iman. I honestly think that 22 and around is a crucial age to build ourselves, inner and outer. Everyone wants to be better and kind but what kind of better and kind it is ?
So I read Hlovate's and learned something about "menjadi baik" like, kalau seorang perempuan tu pakai tudung, tapi tak solat, belum cukup baik lagi. Sama juga kalau cukup solat, tapi tak pakai tudung, belum cukup baik lagi.
Kalau seorang lelaki tu baca Quran hari-hari, tapi main bola nampak kepala lutut, tak cukup baik lagi. Atau solat berjemaah hari-hari, tapi pegang perempuan bukan mahram suka hati, tak cukup baik lagi. Sama juga kalau tak dengar muzik lagha hari-hari, tapi solat subuh pukul 8 pagi, belum cukup baik lagi.
When things get hard, when people makes us disappointed and breaks our heart, we cried during our sujud and doa. When nothing is hard, when we are happy and have no worries, we just solat and then go.
Some people, yang bertudung labuh jadi bertudung singkat, yang bertudung jadi tak pakai tudung. Tapi ada juga yang tak solat kepada cukup solat, yang cukup solat siap pergi solat jemaah dan tambah solat sunat. We are human, but what kind of human are we ?
To think that "aku dah cukup baik" is super dangerous. But to be comfortable with "biarlah aku jahat" is super super dangerous. The hardest battle is to fight with yourself. Like I said before, there's always another better after a better I guess. Stay strong and keep fighting. Jap adakah huraian ini tersasar jauh dari main point ? HAHA
4) Ok let's moving on ! A person is popping out of my mind. Matuss. Ye Halimatuss Saadiiah. After having Matuss as my friend since 4 years ago, I don't think I need any other person anymore. I can say that 90% of my UPM life has Matuss in it and I'm not complaining.
We are so different yet so similar. Our personality and way of thinking are different but I think our passions connect us well. We can talk about anything and go anywhere and get crazy anytime. But we also cannot talk about something and just stay somewhere separately and get silent sometimes. And fighting too !
Sometimes I think everyone need a "Matuss" in their life. Having her during these crucial time of growing, I couldn't be more grateful. Saranghae hek hek.
5) Next thing popping out is so funny. It is contradict to the third thing but relatable. Sehun and EXO. Some people are worried about me fangirling and hyping and I understand it. I used to not like them before so I really understand it.
But Sehun and EXO are actually another things added to my favourite lists such as books, travels, drawing, lettering, cakes, and more. They make me happy (?).
I pasted Sehun's face on my things; my bag, my lecture book, my laptop, my note book, my purse, my pencil box because when I look at it, I can just - smile. Did I sound like a psychopath now? HAHA but if one day I need to drop my favourite, I will.
6) Ok guess what popping out next. Dreams. Travelling. To go travel all over the world, I believe it's not only me who have this dream. It's one of my aims of life for now. To further my study overseas is a dream I had since school and it doesn't faded yet. I have sooo many dreams but dreaming only is not enough so I decide to not write about this here. Next.
7) This is another crucial but cringe a bit HAHA. Sarang. Love. One thing that I realised the most at this age is, the love we received and receiving made who we are today.
During this 22 years, I have met many people, listened to many life stories and watched many personalities. Did I sound like I am judging (?) but that is what I actually learned.
The love we received and receiving made who we are today. Jadikan kita seseorang yang mudah menyayangi - atau sukar menyayangi - atau mahu disayangi - atau tak suka disayangi. Jadikan kita mudah terasa dengan orang lain - atau sukar faham rasa orang lain.
The love everyone had and has is different. Don't judge other's past or present because it might be our future. Don't compare our life with others whether we have better life or worst life. Everyone is different - and that makes us special in our own way - and that is why we need to learn from others.
As for me I think I am becoming seseorang yang mudah menyayangi (?) and sometimes it makes me happy but later it might makes me hurt AHA depends. But I really really believe that the love we received and receiving made who we are today (repeat for the third times). Agree ? Or still not, ok.
8) The eighth thing (tiba tiba banyak pula) is I think, everyone who present in my life is like a present for me. From strangers to bestfriends and then to strangers again. Also from strangers to friends and then to a long time bestfriends.
Sometimes, I get closed to someone for a short term, but I realised the change in me is huge. Other times, I get closed to someone for a long term, but I realised I didn't change at all. When my mind says, "Kenapa dia rasa macam tu" "Kenapa dia fikir macam tu" "KENAPA DIA MACAM TU", I try not to compare their life with mine, I try to learn from them (?)
I learn a lot and get stronger because of people around me. I believe that what I have and where I am today is because of doa orang lain; family, jiran, kawan. Even kucing tepi jalan pun can affect our life kan. Jadi kena tukar sikit ke ? Everything that present in my life is like a present for me (?)
9) Since I don't like even number, so I am adding the last thing popping out. This is another crucial lesson that I learned during this 22 years; do the best, pray for the best, and believes that everything happened is for the best.
This is not for others to agree but this is for me to share. As the love we received and receiving is different, pengalaman dan pegangan hidup kita juga berbeza.
As being the eldest child, I can say I don't have much choice to decide what to do, what I want, or where I go. I just following my parents along the way. So I turn out being someone who - don't like to make decision.
I am just following the flow, doing what I should do, praying that Allah will always gives the best for me, therefore I always believes that everything happened to me, is the best that Allah has fated for me. Srsly I am not complaining.
But then I met people who questioning and thinking - if what they are doing, where they are and what they want - is on the right path. Again, I am not complaining.
However this make me wondering if what I believe is really the right way of thinking. I don't know but for now let me just do my best, pray for the best, and believes that everything happened is for the best, ok.
These things popping out are the things that I can describe and write. But I guess there are many more things that I popped out - things that I'm grateful, blessed, learned and loved for - and it is crazy to write everything and sometimes it is indescribable.
I started writing this post since 8 days ago and I keep backspacing and rewrite again and mengelamun jauh - so this is the final result.
If you are reading till here, terima kasih atas kesudian anda. I'm not a good person or an inspiring person but I think I'm kinda a cool person HAHA - happy birthday dear self - annyeong - tutup salam geng.
So I read Hlovate's and learned something about "menjadi baik" like, kalau seorang perempuan tu pakai tudung, tapi tak solat, belum cukup baik lagi. Sama juga kalau cukup solat, tapi tak pakai tudung, belum cukup baik lagi.
Kalau seorang lelaki tu baca Quran hari-hari, tapi main bola nampak kepala lutut, tak cukup baik lagi. Atau solat berjemaah hari-hari, tapi pegang perempuan bukan mahram suka hati, tak cukup baik lagi. Sama juga kalau tak dengar muzik lagha hari-hari, tapi solat subuh pukul 8 pagi, belum cukup baik lagi.
When things get hard, when people makes us disappointed and breaks our heart, we cried during our sujud and doa. When nothing is hard, when we are happy and have no worries, we just solat and then go.
Some people, yang bertudung labuh jadi bertudung singkat, yang bertudung jadi tak pakai tudung. Tapi ada juga yang tak solat kepada cukup solat, yang cukup solat siap pergi solat jemaah dan tambah solat sunat. We are human, but what kind of human are we ?
To think that "aku dah cukup baik" is super dangerous. But to be comfortable with "biarlah aku jahat" is super super dangerous. The hardest battle is to fight with yourself. Like I said before, there's always another better after a better I guess. Stay strong and keep fighting. Jap adakah huraian ini tersasar jauh dari main point ? HAHA
We are so different yet so similar. Our personality and way of thinking are different but I think our passions connect us well. We can talk about anything and go anywhere and get crazy anytime. But we also cannot talk about something and just stay somewhere separately and get silent sometimes. And fighting too !
Sometimes I think everyone need a "Matuss" in their life. Having her during these crucial time of growing, I couldn't be more grateful. Saranghae hek hek.
*Dengan ini saya persembahkan selubang hidung Matuss*
5) Next thing popping out is so funny. It is contradict to the third thing but relatable. Sehun and EXO. Some people are worried about me fangirling and hyping and I understand it. I used to not like them before so I really understand it.
But Sehun and EXO are actually another things added to my favourite lists such as books, travels, drawing, lettering, cakes, and more. They make me happy (?).
I pasted Sehun's face on my things; my bag, my lecture book, my laptop, my note book, my purse, my pencil box because when I look at it, I can just - smile. Did I sound like a psychopath now? HAHA but if one day I need to drop my favourite, I will.
6) Ok guess what popping out next. Dreams. Travelling. To go travel all over the world, I believe it's not only me who have this dream. It's one of my aims of life for now. To further my study overseas is a dream I had since school and it doesn't faded yet. I have sooo many dreams but dreaming only is not enough so I decide to not write about this here. Next.
7) This is another crucial but cringe a bit HAHA. Sarang. Love. One thing that I realised the most at this age is, the love we received and receiving made who we are today.
During this 22 years, I have met many people, listened to many life stories and watched many personalities. Did I sound like I am judging (?) but that is what I actually learned.
The love we received and receiving made who we are today. Jadikan kita seseorang yang mudah menyayangi - atau sukar menyayangi - atau mahu disayangi - atau tak suka disayangi. Jadikan kita mudah terasa dengan orang lain - atau sukar faham rasa orang lain.
The love everyone had and has is different. Don't judge other's past or present because it might be our future. Don't compare our life with others whether we have better life or worst life. Everyone is different - and that makes us special in our own way - and that is why we need to learn from others.
As for me I think I am becoming seseorang yang mudah menyayangi (?) and sometimes it makes me happy but later it might makes me hurt AHA depends. But I really really believe that the love we received and receiving made who we are today (repeat for the third times). Agree ? Or still not, ok.
*The most lovely face I have*
8) The eighth thing (tiba tiba banyak pula) is I think, everyone who present in my life is like a present for me. From strangers to bestfriends and then to strangers again. Also from strangers to friends and then to a long time bestfriends.
Sometimes, I get closed to someone for a short term, but I realised the change in me is huge. Other times, I get closed to someone for a long term, but I realised I didn't change at all. When my mind says, "Kenapa dia rasa macam tu" "Kenapa dia fikir macam tu" "KENAPA DIA MACAM TU", I try not to compare their life with mine, I try to learn from them (?)
I learn a lot and get stronger because of people around me. I believe that what I have and where I am today is because of doa orang lain; family, jiran, kawan. Even kucing tepi jalan pun can affect our life kan. Jadi kena tukar sikit ke ? Everything that present in my life is like a present for me (?)
9) Since I don't like even number, so I am adding the last thing popping out. This is another crucial lesson that I learned during this 22 years; do the best, pray for the best, and believes that everything happened is for the best.
This is not for others to agree but this is for me to share. As the love we received and receiving is different, pengalaman dan pegangan hidup kita juga berbeza.
As being the eldest child, I can say I don't have much choice to decide what to do, what I want, or where I go. I just following my parents along the way. So I turn out being someone who - don't like to make decision.
I am just following the flow, doing what I should do, praying that Allah will always gives the best for me, therefore I always believes that everything happened to me, is the best that Allah has fated for me. Srsly I am not complaining.
But then I met people who questioning and thinking - if what they are doing, where they are and what they want - is on the right path. Again, I am not complaining.
However this make me wondering if what I believe is really the right way of thinking. I don't know but for now let me just do my best, pray for the best, and believes that everything happened is for the best, ok.
These things popping out are the things that I can describe and write. But I guess there are many more things that I popped out - things that I'm grateful, blessed, learned and loved for - and it is crazy to write everything and sometimes it is indescribable.
I started writing this post since 8 days ago and I keep backspacing and rewrite again and mengelamun jauh - so this is the final result.
If you are reading till here, terima kasih atas kesudian anda. I'm not a good person or an inspiring person but I think I'm kinda a cool person HAHA - happy birthday dear self - annyeong - tutup salam geng.
